This day is already hella-long and not just because I'm stuck in a time warp where hella-long is still used.

I keep realizing, like I'm in Momento or I'm Dory, that it's almost JULY and I've not spent one afternoon outside enjoying this weather.  What the hell?  I mean, I know that the weather's been alternately 60 degrees and rainy or 95 degrees and humid, and I'm not much for nature anyway, and I hate bugs, but I get that weird I'M MISSING OUT feeling when there's a breeze and sunshine and I'm holed up in the house, ironing a 2 foot high pile of clothing because nothing says summertime like freshly pressed cotton.  Or maybe I'm just sad that I'm ironing.  Part of the reason I'm looking forward to having so many people over all weekend is that it will MAKE me be outside, enjoying stuff.  Or at least I won't be ironing.  I hope.


And a hearty thank you to all for your excellent advice for party activities.  I'm simultaneously amazed/not even remotely surprised at the number of people who enjoy squatting over pressurized water.  I'm debating getting disposable enemas and just passing them out as party favors.

[Many, many years ago, when the girl was small, my cousin and I took her to a nearby park that has water sprinklers/sprayers. There was a little boy who would squat over a near-volcano of water and had such a pleasured look on his face that it was like you were invading his privacy when you were looking at him.  He'd squat there, for several minutes, get up and play with his friends for about 30 seconds and head right back over to squat some more.  My cousin and I could not stop with the uncomfortable laughter, because he really, really, REALLY looked like he could have used some alone time.]

I'm heading out this week to get a sprinkler [that Mt. Tikisoki looks demented and awesome, but $50 is not in my budget right now], some sparklers, bubbles and lawn darts.  Really, really pointy ones.  And untangle our badminton set.  And borrow one of those corn hole games.  And then laugh about the idea that we are all going to corn hole.  Because I am classy like that.  And get a giant watermelon to spit seeds.  Because we are also classy like that.  And because if you can't be foolish with your family, who can you be foolish with?  Besides just the general public, but they tend to be kind of judgy when you're in the middle of your third acappella rendition of The Pina Colada Song. [I'm sorry that now that song is stuck in your head.  I hope you feel my pain.]

Last night, I made the most delicious strawberry sour cream ice cream.  That ice cream maker?  I am its whore. 

These tasty treats . . .

. . . made this.

I'm planning on making chocolate and maybe blueberry and another vanilla for the weekend.  It's SO GOOD.  Also, patriotic.  Except the chocolate.  Unless you count it as being the earth upon which this great nation is built.  Wow.  I should run for office or be in advertising or maybe just shut the hell up.

Sorry for the lame.  Better stuff coming, I swear.

PS Just so you know, I would make out with the the non-mustachioed one - Hall.  Mustaches just scream porn to me.  I would also have to be very, very drunk.