Monday, June 20, 2011

This is going to be completely incoherent. You've been warned.

I keep hearing/seeing/reading all about what to do with your kids now that school's out, so I'm jumping on the advice giving bandwagon.  Here is what you do:

Wait until your kid is 12 or so, and then all they'll need you for is rides to someone else's house, or a large enough room for your child and his or her friends to sit around and watch movies, play video games or talk.  Until then?  I believe Valium offers the best ratio of relaxation : ability to continue to monitor your child.  Good luck with that.


I got an ice cream maker this weekend.  I haven't used it yet, but I'm planning on making vanilla frozen yogurt tonight.  I know, fancy, right? Except I was going to put in crushed up chocolate covered pretzels [three kinds of chocolate!], but someone ate them all.  I think crushed up Heath bars are going in instead.  Has anyone made ice cream/frozen yogurt before?  I'm not sure why I'm so hesitant to do this.  It's actually freaking me out.


I'm starting a water aerobics class this week.  It's called Arthritic H2O.  I hope I can keep up. 

Seriously.  I'm more than a little concerned. 

I did get really cute water shoes from Lands End, though.  I had some cute ones, but cannot find them anywhere.  Who would steal water shoes?  Water fetishists?  I don't want to know.


I read 3 books in the past couple of weeks! THREE!  One of which I'd already read, so I'm not sure I can count it.  One which was so fluffy the pages were made of cotton candy.  And one which was good and aggravating - London is the Best City in America.  Good, because it was well written and captivating.  Aggravating because I'm not sure how I feel about any and all of the characters.  Has anyone else read this yet?  Please do so, if you haven't, so I can talk to someone about this.


I watched The Philadelphia Story with a few people on Twitter last night.  I'd forgotten how good it was - and how much movies tend to suck now.  I mean, I know that there were shitty movies since there were movies, but even the supposedly good ones now are not talky or smart enough to be considered that good.  I need witty banter, not dick jokes.  Unless that dick joke is a work of art.  The dick.  Or the joke.  Either one.

On that note, I'm out. 


  1. I'm struggling through a Maragaret Atwood book right now. I got sucked in by the whole post-apocalyptic thing, but now I'm trapped by her verbose look-at-me-i'm-so-clever thing. I'm also struggling through the third book in the Diana Gabaldon Outlander series. Seriously: her books are so long-winded, they can suck for a solid 200 pages.

  2. I've made ice cream many times. Once you try it, you realize how easy it is! People are always so impressed by homemade ice cream, but you are under no obligation to inform them of the simplicity of the whole process.

  3. I read "London..." - I agree. It's been a while since I read it but I wasn't a fan of the book. It was just ok and I felt the same way about the characters. I don't enjoy books in which I want to smack the main character around.

    Those water aerobics classes are no joke. It's like exercising in pudding. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on it!

  4. I love incoherent posts. That's pretty much all I ever write :)

  5. Perfect post for someone like myself who can only attend to a single idea for like 20 seconds. I think you were made for me. As a matter of fact, my attention span is so short that I've been known to abandon a perfectly good comment right in

  6. Valium. Check!
    I have no experience with ice cream makers (being lactose intolerant -- damn you digestive system!) but I just got a juicer and I'm totally scared to use it. I think it's because I'm so excited about it and don't want it to be a let down but I know it will be cuz it doesn't do cooking or laundry so basically it's useless to me really.
    I've heard there is a rash of water shoe burglaries around the nation.

  7. there's nothing incoherent here.



    sorry. got distracted.

    (in other words, don't apologize for being scatterbrained. happens to the best of us. and also to me.)

  8. I haven't read that book about London but it sounds good. The cotton pages? Was that written by Nicholas Sparks. Ick. The ice cream maker? Watch out. My sister got one recently and is obsessed. For Father's Day, she made homemade ice cream sandwiches with several different types of ice cream and homemade cookie wafer thingy majigs.

  9. You know what?

    For the summer, let's agree to do incoherent posts and I'll leave incoherent comments.

    I like that.

    Blueberry cobber is better than cherry cobber.

    BUT peach is my favorite.

    And my leg hurts today.


  10. I wonder what percentage of dicks are works of art in their own right? I know I'm still working on the perfect dick joke . . . though I'm a little glad I don't have to come up with any "playing with my organ" jokes for a few months.

    I have made ice cream, and it's always sucked . . . the only thing that I made that was even half-way decent was a lemon frozen yogurt. The reason for the sucking, I fear, is because when I add the ingredients, it's difficult to go overboard on the stuff I typically try to avoid: cream, sugar, the fun stuff you mix in . . . somehow, if you purchase it all nice & packaged, it seems "not quite as bad" for you as when you add each part independently.

  11. I also have some Xanax if you need it.

    hey, I'm HERE for you, don't forget it. ;)

    I am sending my cherubs to daycare all summer, YEA ME!

    I literally would love to take a water aerobics class, GOOD LUCK!

    and while Ice Cream is not my favorite treat, I do hope yours is delish, it will be of course, it's YOU. xo

  12. Did you just say cute water shoes? If anyone can rock water shoes, I'll bet it's you, Suniverse.

    And I'm totally coming over for fro-yo. Wow. I haven't said that since college.

    Also, I'm looking into valium. Thank you.

  13. Is the vallium for you or the kids? Just kidding..

    But seriously, which one is it?

    Ice cream. It's totally easy to make. The last time I made it I was hammered. That's how easy it is to make. Or maybe it's just easy to make when you're hammered - like driving and operating machinery?


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.