Forgetfulness.

I'm sitting at my now super clean desk, in my now super clean office, wondering where the past few weeks have gone.

The end of August was a frenzy, with going to BlogHer and starting a new job and my uncle dying and culminating in the girl heading back to school. 

A small sampling of what the girl took with her. Not pictured: My heart.

It was a lot of emotion - which I dislike - and a lot of leaving - which I also dislike.  I've been a little frazzled ever since, trying to get my life in some sort of order.  I'm very, very slowly crossing things off my to do list.  Mundane things, like buying toothpaste, and bigger things, like paying a long overdue condolence call [this has not been a good year for my family and extended family].  I'm still stuck using that wretched Tom's of Maine deoderant that makes me smell like a fucking hippie, so I may move replacing that up on my to do list.

Even still, it seems like the mundane and the big have all been conflated, so much so that I've kind of lost track of stuff.  Not just buying new deoderant [a sincere, heartfelt apology to all who have encountered me the past couple of weeks. I know, and I'm sorry. I'm not ill - it's the deoderant that makes me smell that way.  Truly, truly sorry.], but also FORGETTING that my father was having surgery.

Yeah.  I did.

I stopped over at my parents' house last week since my sister invited me over for cake.  I am not one to turn down cake, so I went after working out - which was exacerbating the hippie Tom's of Maine stench, but family is family, and they would just have to deal.  Anyway, my aunt and cousin were there, and we all sat around chatting for a while. I finally started thinking about leaving, since I was supposed to Skype with the girl, and, to be frank, my own smell was killing me, when my mom asked my dad what time he was getting up the next morning.  My dad said, "I dunno - maybe 4:30?"

I said, "Why are you getting up at 4:30?"

And my sister said, "For his surgery tomorrow morning."

WTF?

How did I forget this?

And how had I been sitting there eating cake like it was nothing when it was actually pre-surgery cake?

I was more than a little bit rattled.  I mean, it was minor outpatient surgery, but my dad's getting older, and he's had a few procedures this past year that have ostensibly been outpatient surgery and have kept him in the hospital for the better part of a week.

I tried to pull myself together and not let myself get too overset, but seriously - who forgets their parent's surgery?

I think the thing that bummed me out most - and it truly upset my sister - is that I missed the prime moment to tell my dad this:

"When they knock you out for surgery, if you see your brother, DO NOT GO TO HIM."

I mean, it was still kind of funny the next day, but in comedy, timing is everything.  And you know how we are about making fun of my dad in the hospital.