Here's Why I'm an Idiot

It's 6:30pm, and I've just finished dinner. The phone rings. I answer it and chat:
. . .

Friend: O.k., yeah, let's get together tomorrow night. Do you want us to come over or do you want to come over?

Me: Why don't you guys come over?

Friend: That sounds great.

I hang up the phone and see my husband looking at me in horror.

Him: Did you just invite them over tomorrow night?

Me: Yeah. Why?

He looks around the house - which is insanely messy and quite dirty. And then points down to the basement, which is a shambles because we are in the midst of one of my periodic reorganization frenzies (I just know that if I set things up in the perfectly right way, not only will I not hate our shitty hand-me-down basement furniture, but everything will look like Martha Stewart did it, and it will all be clean and tidy and labeled with calligraphic notes) and there is stuff literally everywhere. You have to have a sherpa to get to the laundry room (which, why bother, since the dryer is broken and we can't afford to fix it or replace it) or the pantry.

So, we've been cleaning for about 2 hours straight, and I AM TIRED and cranky and what's the point of having friends, anyway, if they make you this tired?

It's Movie Time

Today, I decided to do the treadmill, since we are experiencing wretched heat and humidity, which makes me want to become subterranian, except for all that yucky dirt stuff.

When I do the treadmill, I am bored. So I need to do something fun. I used to listen to podcasts on my iPod, but I've found that I need something more stimulating. I once played Ms. PacMan, but we gave the PS1 to my parents for the Kid to play on when she's over there.

So now I watch movies, because I hate commercials. So far, I've watched His Girl Friday, The Philadelphia Story, and All About Eve. I tried to watch Sense and Sensibility, but I need really talky movies to hold my attention, something where the action is more than a raised eyebrow or the blinking of an eye.

Today, I finished up All About Eve (what a GREAT movie - see it if you haven't already) and started watching La Femme Nikita. Surprisingly, even though there isn't that much dialogue (in the first 1o minutes), it moves pretty well, plus I can read the subtitles while listening to the French and get those moments where they don't translate correctly, which is always fun. Or maybe it's just fun for me.

So that's what I've been watching. Any suggestions?

Also, I covet the clothing in All About Eve. Damn, Edith Head did an amazing job on Bette Davis's clothing, and Charles Le Maire did a fabulous job with Ann Baxter and Celeste Holme.

Didn't they?

Plus, I think I want to get the Even Harrington hair cut. It's similar to the Myrna Loy look. But I can't tell if it's too labor intensive. And by too labor intensive, I mean something beyond running my fingers through it and gooping it up with some hair product. I'm so girly.



Isn't everyone thrilled I posted? I'm full of insight and fun!

Feels Like Monday

The grind starts tomorrow. Ugh. I'm NOT looking forward to getting up at 6:30 and actually getting ready for the day. Not even a little bit.

But, I've painted my toenails a delicious red, and I've got my purse ready, and I'm thinking positive. I get to see my friend finally (she's been in Korea for the summer) and we can chat and mock and joke around.

Plus, it's one more day closer to the Kid being home. I miss her a lot - more than I did last year when she was gone a lot more. Surprising, since there were days when I felt like I was going to maim her for talking. so. damn. much.

ON A TANGENT:

What's your weakness? Mine is bags/purses. It's like I can't ever have enough. I'm not one who needs the latest label bag, but if I see a fabulous tote, I NEED it. Desperately.

I had a severe dilemma trying to figure out which bag to take. I ended up going with my summer utility bag, because it fits everything (and what a bargain - $3.74 at Target on clearance!).

And now, must get ready for bed. Or at least get in bed and read until I fall asleep.

Ciao!

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Seriously.

Go away.

The alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, because we are responsible adults and one of us (not me) had to go to work. I somehow managed to drop the iHome remote and then went to the bathroom and left Mr. Working Man to deal with the REALLY LOUD AC/DC music (don't judge).

And then we went back to bed for a few minutes and woke up at 8:00 to find out that the power was out.

So, I thought, no big. I'll bake chicken . . . nope. I'll vacuum . . . not even. I'll iron and watch a movie . . . uh, no. I'll hit the treadmill . . . in my dreams.

So I packed up all the laundry and my laptop and went to my parents' house - because evidently gentle rain doesn't take out their power lines.

And then I tried to hit the rec center to go swimming - driving in a torrential downpour only to find that the rec center had lost power and the pool was closed. And I had no tennis shoes to hit the track or the treadmills (which were running off a generator - I call foul. The generator should be for the pool, which I use. Because I drove there in a torrential downpour. I DESERVED TO WORK OUT.). Instead, I went back out in the rain and drove to my parents and chatted with my dad while he altered some suits for me and I did laundry. Good times.

And then I got a phone call from my mother-in-law, from an urgent care over 1,000 miles away, telling me that The Kid had been bitten by a spider and they needed my permission to treat her.

TREAT AWAY!

It turns out that she WASN'T bitten by a spider, but instead by a mosquito and the bite had gotten infected.

This is the THIRD time this has happened this summer. So fuck mosquitoes.

The end.

Hi! It's Me! BitchMom!

Oi.

So the Kid is going on vacation tomorrow, and we need to pack (nothing like waiting until the last minute, right? At least I made a list. OF COURSE, I made a list.).

So what do I do when the Kid attempts to think for herself and make her own clothing choices? Not the choices I would make, choices that she has chosen?

Get pissed off and tell her she needs to pack by herself.

HI! I'M EVIL!

Like A Fucking Leper

So I've spent all summer applying for jobs, begging old bosses to hire me (who couldn't afford to, because their business has been so slow), ending up with no job and mounting debts and feeling completely useless and despised and getting that sick feeling in my stomach about how we're going to end up living in a van down by the river (and not in a funny Chris Farley way, and not even in a Jewel-type way, more like a scary way - which, yeah, COULD be a Jewel-type way, but you know what I mean) and today, TODAY, I get 2 phone calls for interviews.

Except one won't work, because the only times they need me to work (teaching an intro to composition class) is during the day, when I'm in school or at my internship.

So I'm banking on the other one, hoping I'll get some part time work.

And also kind of hoping that someone teaching night courses can't do it. Not that I wish ill on anyone. No. Not at all. Hear that, Karma?

What's New With Me, You Ask?

Woooo!

So many things going on:

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It was my birthday on Monday! Happy belated birthday to me! WOOHOOO!

It wasn't too bad. I spent the day putzing around and had take out for dinner (I didn't have to cook! My spazfest last year worked!) and enjoyed my delightful presents - Newsradio Seasons 3 & 4. Oh, my god. How fucking hilarious this show is.

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Yesterday, I spent the day spending money (hi, food, hey clothing! How ya doing, stamps?) and panicking about spending money and then spent several hours online applying for every job imaginable.

I have a LOT of issues about jobs/money. I have not had a real job in years (except for last year) because I stayed home with the kidbit. Which is all well and good, except I can't seem to get any type of job in any type of area that interests me even remotely. So I'm back in school in the hopes that THIS graduate degree will be the lucky ticket.

And it fucking better be, because I will owe more than I owe on my house when all is said and done.

So then I panic about owing so much money. Because I have not historically been good with money. I have been BAD with money, to the point where I HAVE NO MONEY. And my husband is equally bad (but very calm about the whole thing. Go figure.) so it's kind of a recipe for disaster.

Yeesh. Stress is killing me.

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I'm going swimming today. Because all I've got going for me right now is the fact that I'm exercising 4-6 times a week. Sure, it's only been for the past 3 weeks, but it's a start, right?


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The kid is going on vacation for a week starting Saturday with the in-laws. I'm excited, but also worried, because she's going far away with them. But, I know she'll have a great time and really enjoy herself. And I'll be able to finish off my giant summer TO DO list (HAHAHA) while she's gone.

Ratios

It's been wicked hot out. Nasty hot.

So today, The Kid and I will hit the public pool (again).

I have a friend who despises public pools, railing about the chlorine v. urine factor. I try not to think about it, but just hope that chlorine edges out urine by a wide enough margin so that I don't have to worry too much about accidentally enjoying someone else's output.

Enjoy your day!

Left Out

My husband has sent out invitations for his fantasy football league. I've been involved in that league since it started.

I didn't get an invitation this year.

Granted, I completely stopped playing about 3 or 4 weeks into the season, which I'm sure was annoying, but still.

It was a way to (sort of) spend time together and (pretend to) share an interest.

And now? No invite.

What are we supposed to do together now?

Better Late Than Never

So I watched Jesus Camp today.

There were so many things that were so disturbing that I don't even know where to start:

* The whole having kids lay down their lives for Jesus?
* The very scary pledges of allegiance (and the Israeli flag?)?
* Exhorting small children to repent their hypocrisy for not acting in school like they do in church?
* The creepy homeschooling thing?
* The little girl who was witnessing at the bowling alley?
* Harry Potter is evil and would be stoned in the bible?
* The knowledge that THIS STUFF ACTUALLY HAPPENED?

I think the thing that bugged me the most, thought, was the whole speaking in tongues. I learned in Linguistics that speaking in tongues is supposed to be speaking with intonations that do not exist in any other language. The stuff they were doing - not speaking in tongues, just yammering.

You know, whatever. If you feel the need to be that fervent in your religions, by all means, do so. But do not indoctrinate. And do not rest smugly in your knowledge that only YOU know the truth.

Ugh. I need to cleanse my brain.