We Interrupt This Lengthy Sabbatical

Hola!

I hope you've all been enjoying your holiday festivities.  I've been alternating between frenzied craziness and bone-crushing exhaustion causing me to fall asleep on the couch at ridiculously early hours and wake up not so refreshed with a cat on my lap and drool on my book.

Here's a quick snapshot:

• I managed to make a ham.  This may not seem like such a big deal, but I made this ham even though I was raised Muslim and don't eat ham and actually find it pretty disgusting and I didn't, in fact, taste the ham or ham gravy [because OF COURSE there was gravy - I would drink gravy if I wouldn't get so many disapproving glances] for seasonings, and it was hailed as a masterpiece of hamminess.  A ham Sistine Chapel.
• I bought myself 3 new sweaters while gift shopping and my sister actually wrapped one for me as a gift from me to me.  I was excited, even though I may return one of the new sweaters because it lost a shiny rhinestone button the first time I washed it, and that is unacceptable.  
• I have eaten my body weight in snack foods and dessert-type items.  It does not help that XMAS and PMS have coincided this year.  Nice planning, bitches.
• Our holiday party was fun and my hair looked FUCKING FANTASTIC.  Full details in a later post.
• I had a dream about urine mints.
• I'm trying to listen to The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, but sweet merciful jesus, that reader sucks ass.
• I'm planning on heading back to the gym soon.  Is it wrong to exercise for 5 minutes and then maybe just sitting on the exercise bike and reading for another 25 minutes?  And if so, how wrong exactly?

So that's a quick update.  I'll have more in depth analysis of my life soon.  In the meantime, if you've got a hankering, I've got a new post up at Secret Society of List Addicts.  It's genius, if I do say so myself.

Wednesday in Pictures

The best thing about the husband is that he will grill even in subzero weather.  A 30 degree day? That's nothing.  Shorts weather, even. 

This means I get to have delicious grilled asparagus whenever I want. And it's in stock. And not $159.99/lb. [Not pictured - the delicious tenderloin that was swooped away into my waiting gullet.]

Or when it's the holiday season, and we deserve it, damnit!

Yum.

Holiday Peace and Quiet

So, as I said yesterday, I'm in a blogging funk - nothing smart, nothing funny, nothing at all, really.

I plan on taking the next week off.  If something amazingly funny strikes me, I'll be sure to let you know. 

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, full of the magic and delight that you deserve.  You have made this past however long a real pleasure to be on the internets.  I cannot stress enough how pleased I am that we've found each other.

In the meantime, have a nice big fat glass of wine or eggnog, if you'd like. 
 
I'm missing you already. 

Really, I am.

XO,

Suniverse

[PS - Our holiday party is on Saturday.  I'm sure I'll be twittering like mad.  Or maybe I'll just go fetal.]

Blogging Burnout

I don't know if it's the holidays or the cold and icy snow or the fact that my brain seems to have gone on early vacation, but I can't think lately, nonetheless think of something intelligent or fun to say.

So I'm stuck.  Stuck trying to think and failing miserably.

Also, my skin on my knuckle has become so dry it's cracked.  I'd show you a picture, but nobody wants to see that.

And I had a prescription for dry skin, so I was going to put it on, but then it turns out I somehow have TWO cream prescriptions - who knows why? - and I was almost going to put the wrong one on.  I mean, it wasn't poison, or anything, but it wasn't the one I needed.  You'd think with my intense medication anxiety, I'd be A LOT better at keeping track of my meds.

Or I'd get rid of the stuff that expired.

You'd think that.

You'd be wrong.

I also somehow got suckered in to bringing something to my work potluck tomorrow, even though I am not at all interested in eating things prepared by people I don't know, particularly if those people are nice enough, but I wonder about the state of their kitchens.  I'm weird that way.

Anyway, so even though the odds are very, very good that I'll be abstaining from partaking, I'm stopping at the grocery store tomorrow morning on my way into work and buying a pie.  Because I am a team player. Or something.

Go me.

Yeah, so this is what brain tiredness gets you.  Forgive?

Wednesday in Pictures

 I love these berries.  They are so striking.

Rewind Review #5 - Greek

You know how you are just now watching/reading/hearing that thing that everyone was talking about 1/2/10/15/20 years ago?  Or maybe you're revisiting something you LOVED and want desperately to talk about it to someone who cares?  Well, this is my forum to discuss that thing.  Join in, make suggestions, read my genius thoughts about that old school thing.  [Not to be confused with Old School, the movie, or being old school.  Although either of those may come up in the future.]

*****************

Hulu has been awesome.  Truly.  I love that I can just watch something I never would have thought of.  Something that seemed o.k.-ish but that I wouldn't make time for in my week.

That's how I stumbled upon Greek.

Mmm.  Beer.

 It's a show centered around 3 people - Casey [the girl], Evan [preppy cute guy] and Cappy [slacker cute guy].

Evan, Casey and Cappy.  Did you know that Casey is Kelsey Grammer's daughter?  It makes me feel really bad for her.

Casey keeps spinning between Evan and Cappy.   I prefer Evan.  Because I have dated my share of cute slackers [and I don't think this guy is that cute, really] and honest to god, they are cute and relaxed but OMFG, I need a little more.  I need edge.  I need deviousness.  I need a guy who is going to be cute AND be kind of a jerk. 

Pretty.  And dirty.  So, so dirty.

 In my t.v. shows.  I like the nice guy in real life.  Really.  Maybe.

Anyway, so it's about these three, but it's got some really fun characters who make it fun - like two of Casey's sorority sisters: Rebecca, the spoiled slutty rich girl, and Casey's friend whose name I can never remember, who is all about the fashion and the boys.

Rebecca [how smoking hot is she?], What's Her Name, and Casey.  Ah, sorority girls.  They all look like this, right?

Casey's brother Rusty also goes to Cyprus Rhodes University.  He's a geek and has pledged a frat [Cappy's] but lives with Dale, who KILLS ME DEAD.  Dale is hilarious - a religious zealot who tosses out crazy ass lines about how they are all going to hell. 

Dale and Rusty.  I heart me some Dale.  Rusty's pretty funny, too.  Very earnest.

The show, obviously, centers around college life. Which I thought was a lot of fun when I was there. I did not pledge a sorority in college, but I did attend my fair share of frat parties and did end up marrying a frat guy [boy, was THAT a one night stand to remember!].  So while I can't say that this show is an accurate depiction of what happens in fraternities or sororities, I think it's fun to watch. Particularly Dale. 

It has its share of Very Special Episodes, like a guy coming out, and couples cheating, but they are handled surprisingly well, with a lot of humor and wit and smartly done.  In particular, Dale's crisis of faith is treated really, really well, with a lot of humor and a lot of intelligence and heart.

Calvin, the gay guy.  With Evan, who is very understanding and makes sure no one gives him any crap for being gay.  See?  He may be a douchey evil cheating jerk, but he's no homophobe.

Funnily enough, this show was [is? I'm not sure if' it's still going] on ABC Family, which I think would make founder Pat Robertson shit himself or continue his crazy ass diatribes about the dissolution of America.  Also, did you know that when ABC bought the Family Channel, it acquiesced to his demand that his crazy ass chatfest The 700 Club be broadcast twice a day IN PERPETUITY? Or for like 99 years or something. Who the fuck was the lawyer for ABC?  Idiot.

So, anyway, I would watch this show.  It's good fluff.   I particularly like it when I'm ironing, for some reason.  I'm not sure what that means.

Things I've Been Thinking About Lately

I think:

• Florence + The Machine's Kiss with a Fist  and James' Laid are the same song, told from different perspectives [YouTube Links]
• Short nails are cuter than long nails.  Especially with dark colors.  I am not just saying that because two of my nails broke.  Also, if your nail breaks, cut them all.  That one, lonely short nail makes the rest look like they're trying too hard.
• The neighbor who plowed our part of the sidewalk deserves a gold medal AND a hooker.  Or I'll bake some cookies.
• A minimalist holiday look is all the rage.
• I will never, ever feel comfortable using a laptop on my lap. Or a pillow.  Or anywhere that isn't actually a desk.  But I like the portability.
• There is absolutely no reason a candle should cost that much money.  I'm looking at you, Yankee Candle.  And you, Pottery Barn.

$24? Seriously? For WAX?

• My thoughts have been very scattered lately.  I [obviously] am concerned about early onset Alzheimer's Disease and also a possible stroke.  Do you know how to tell if you've had a stroke? You should try and smile, say a sentence and raise your arms above your head.  If you can do those things, you have not had a stroke.  My cousin is also very concerned about his health [we ARE NOT hypochondriacs.  We are merely vigilant.] and I like to picture him doing those things every once in a while.  Particularly when I am doing those things.  This is my PSA for the day. You're welcome.

What have you been thinking about?  Go on.  Tell me.  I don't judge.  Much.

THE WINNER!!!

UPDATED:
My apologies.  I had this set to post on Friday, and yet somehow screwed that up.  SORRY!

Oh, my god, you guys.  These photos were amazing.  And again, Andygirl and I had a ridiculously hard time trying to pick out the winner.  We narrowed it down to three.

Here are the two Runners Up:


By Don Davidson Photo


By Yankee T

And the Winner:

By SweetSalz21

Honestly, all of the photos were fantastic. It makes our jobs so hard. SOOOO!!!  HARRRRDDD.

So, Andygirl and I decided that the next theme is going to be YOUR BEST.  And the best part of that is that it's a READER'S CHOICE AWARD.

Yup.

That's right.

Next month's Raw Photos Contest is going to be decided by you, the reader.  Or viewer.  Whatever, you, out there in Internet Land.  You'll look at the amazing photos showing YOUR BEST and decide which one is the best.

Get ready, the contest will open after the first of the year!

Thanks again to everyone who entered.  You are all fantastic.

Family

* Who would win in a fight? My daughter after three karate lessons, or me, after a lifetime of repressed [and not so repressed] anger?

* The husband loves puns.  I do not.  The girl thinks the husband is hilarious, as when he uttered this gem, "Call of Duty?  I feel a Call of Doodie coming on."  Yet when I initially laughed at the word Duty/Doodie, I was reviled as having a pedestrian sense of humor.

* My brother-in-law and his wife are coming in to town on Friday for the weekend.  I like this set of in-laws.  I do not like the fact that I have to clean my house.  Which kind of makes me angry at them, thanks to the transitive property.  If A = B and B = C, then A = C.  Where A is Hatred; B is Cleaning the House; and C is Brother-in-law & Wife.  I have mad math skillz, baby.

* I somehow, one day earlier this week, strained/sprained my forefinger.  I thought it would get better, but this morning I woke up with Raptor Claw:

That's what my hand looked like this morning.  I also walk around like this in the morning.  Except, you know, with longish curly hair.  If I had any photoshop skills whatsoever, I'd add a big fat giant blob of hair to this picture.  Let's use our imaginations and pretend I did.  Wow.  This is getting ridiculously long, isn't it?

* Oh, yeah, so my point was that I woke up with Raptor Claw and was harassed into making a dr. appointment because I not only couldn't bend my fingers, I was being a martyr like my own mother.  Like all mothers.  I figured it would get better on its own.  [It hasn't.]

* People in Detroit stole an ambulance.  While it was on call.  Yes:  While the paramedics were in taking care of someone, jackasses stole the ambulance waiting outside.  That doesn't really relate to family, except seriously?  Who raised them?

Raw Photos Finalists!

Hey, remember how Andygirl and I do that awesomely awesome fantastic Raw Photos contest?

With all the super cool photos to choose from, you make it nearly impossible to select finalists.

But we did.  Finally.  It was hard!

Here they are, in no particular order, just a massive show of LOVE:

Finalists:


By PiecesofmeJen
I HEART the use of light and shadow.  And the red just POPS!



By Yankee T
So much love and cuteness.  I love both their expressions.



By SweetSalz21
I get a swoop in my heart looking at this couple.  I don't know them, but I want to hang out with them.



By Shnerfle
Oh, man.  This is one father/son duo that makes me melt.


Judges picks:

The Suniverse's pick:

Keeping 1t Real

Three generations expressing love in the manly way - by fishing.


Andygirl's pick:

Don Davidson Photo

Oh, my heart is aching. Really. It is.


You can see all the entries here. They were fantastic.

On Friday, Andygirl will announce the winner. It's been a grueling process, having to look at such images of love. It makes my bitter heart weep with joy.

After that, we're going to take a winter break and start up with our next contest in the new year.  Get those cameras ready, folks!

Really? Really.

I got a filling yesterday.  Without any numbing.  Why?  Because I am a fucked up, crazy-cakes fool.

I was far more fearful of the medication they would use to numb me than I was of the pain.  And then, of course, I was fearful of the composite they used for the filling.  Because, again, I'm a loon.

The good news is that it went fine.  I didn't freak out [much] [hardly at all] [honest], although I did have images of Marathon Man in my head:

Astonishingly similar.  Except my hair is longer.  And I'm a woman.  But otherwise, exactly the same.

Things I learned before, during and after my adventure:

• I can work myself into a fine frenzy of panic.
• Getting up at 3 FUCKING A.M. IN THE GODDAMN MORNING does not help matters.
• My dentist also does not use numbing when he gets fillings, because it doesn't work on him.
• He has gold fillings. 
• He is NOT Flavor Flav

But how awesome would he be as a dentist? SO AWESOME! Right? I wonder if Chuck D would be there, too.  I would be at the dentist EVERY DAY if that were the case.

• I am afraid to swallow my saliva when it's been tainted by dental stuff.
• So I drove home with a mouth increasingly full of spit.  While trying to talk to the husband so I wouldn't freak out.
• I was almost tempted to do the disgusting spit outside your car door while at a stop light, but I did not, because 1. THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING, and 2. There was a cop next to me almost the whole way home.
• Also, an Alfred Hitchcockian swarm of birds sailed over my car and several of them shat on my windshield.  I guess that's a sign that I'll be getting a carwash tomorrow.
• And finally, I had a GIANT FUCKING CHIN HAIR poking out of my chin.  Which is at the bottom of my mouth.  Which is where the dentist and hygienist had their attention focused for about 30 minutes.  Yeah.  CHIN HAIR.  

 So that was my day yesterday.  I also read your answers to my queries [more or less pretentious than adding a "u" to words?  What do you think?] and fell in love with all of you all over again.  You are amazing.  Truly.

What did you do? 

********

Oh, I was also at work yesterday.  Here's a little something about the workplace for your reading enjoyment over at Secret Society of List Addicts.  Ah, co-workers.  Who doesn't love you?

Quick Post. Because I Love.

So I FINALLY managed to load Snow Loepard on my MacBook. Which then served to make my Internet all wonky. Or maybe that's just AT&T's fault. Yeah. That's probably it.

Anyway, what this means is I am currently posting from my iPhone. Because I love you guys & ant to stay in touch. Also, I'm needy.

So, a series of questions I hope you'll answer. I live for your comments. Seriously. It's kind of sad.

1. Best tv show buddies? (I have to say Turk & JD from "Scrubs")
2. Most overhyped tv show? (Mad Men. I don't get it.)
3. The use of "u" in words like colour. Pretentious? Or fun?
4. Your favorite/most despised font. (Bookman. Or Engravers.)
5. Least preferable exam: Dental? Gyno? Essay?
6. And finally, snow or sun?

So let me know what you think. I get inordinately excited when people comment.

XO,
Suniverse

Friday Flip Offs - Are You Kidding Me? The Holidays Are ON!

Oh, it's been a while.  It's also been a long week.  And so, without further ado, here are things that deserve a big fat flip:

Insomnia.  You are a gigantic bastard.  Seriously.  There is no reason for you to exist, particularly not on SUNDAY NIGHT when only 24 hours earlier it would have been more tolerable.  I'm already tired.  Now I'm loopy, too, from lack of sleep.  Flip off, insomnia.  Flip off.

Gift Lists.  If I knew what I wanted, I would already have it. Jesus. [This does not exempt you from giving me a list of things you want.  Let's be serious, here. I'm out of ideas.]

Global Warming.  For all the regular reasons [shrinking ice caps, drowning polar bears] but also because you lull me into thinking that this mild-ish weather will last all winter.  Even though I live in the North.  Every year, you donkey punch me with shitty cold fronts and I'm getting tired of it.

What have you go this week?





*********
Hey!!! Finally!!! It's the end of the Raw Photos Contest. You want to enter and win, don't you? It's like your own little present to yourself and the universe and everyone will know how fucking awesome you are.

And the panic sets in

For the past few years, we've had a holiday cocktail party.  A fancy, dress up, adults only, fancy canapes and champagne shindig.  Usually between 15-30 people show up, depending on the weather.

The husband and I actually love to entertain.  We have gotten into a really nice groove, have developed quite a good system.  We have people over and parties year round.  December, however, is kind of full, because not only do we have the shindig, but we also have Christmas here and the husband's birthday and the girl likes to have friends over for a cookie decorating party.

This, I know, is not as much as most people do.

But this year, I'm coming off a horrible 3 month-long bout with bronchitis and this past week, the husband got sick and got me sick and we're both working [especially the husband, who works at minimum, 16 hour days, 7 days a week from the beginning of November until the week of Christmas] and so now?

Now we are sick.  And tired. 

We have no decorations up.

We can't even GET to the decorations because of the Star Wars-type garbage room that is the center of the cedar closet:

Seriously.  This is what it's like.  I lost a slipper the last time I was in there. A SLIPPER WAS YANKED OFF MY FOOT BY SOME UNKNOWN MONSTER IN MY CEDAR CLOSET.

But we just sent out our invitations to the shindig [if you don't get yours in the mail, let me know, or, even better, just stop by.  But dress up, because you have to look glamorous. Not that you don't already look glamorous, because you do, just the way you are, but you know, it's fun to put on something fancy.  Avoid the Spanx, though, because there will be a ton of food, and nobody likes that feeling like a boa constrictor has engulfed their middle.  Or at least I don't.  You may.  That's fine.  I don't judge.].

And at least I picked up some cute napkins already. And got a bunch more fancy champagne glasses from my mom.

So I guess we're having a party. 

Wednesday in Pictures - Fall

*************


*************
And speaking of pictures - yadda yadda yadda,  Raw Photos Contest.  You know the drill, right?